we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
