Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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