why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
