but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize