Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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