About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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