Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just tell him i said nine months
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So many bounce houses so little time
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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