You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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