Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
