She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
