we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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