This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have post one night stand depression
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
