overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize