Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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