So drunk its hurt
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
