i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
