Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
