i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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