the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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