Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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