I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
