So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
