I just saw a hot homeless man
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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