he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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