Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
