he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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