I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
