Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
