summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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