I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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