His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
