Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
