I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
