she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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