If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
