Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize