just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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