Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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