escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
