I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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