He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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