it was like his penis was on wheels.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
