Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The uberlube is also flammable
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
