I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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