Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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