It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
