You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
