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Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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