apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
