so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
