Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
