You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
