You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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