I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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