So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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