i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
there is puke in my bra ... again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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